Incredibly Amazing Day

Det här har varit en helt absolut fantastiskt härlig dag! Och på nåt sätt känns det som alla upp och nedgångar denna sommaren har lett till denna punkt. Kanske det bara är tillfälligt men nu just är jag lycklig. Jag skrev sist om Jerusalem keikkan som va gårrbra men sen dess har jag varit slö att uppdatera men mycket har jag fått vara med om, lite sämre situationer men jag vill int gå in på de här utan ta det roliga istället. Jamma ute på lindå me Patu o Emil. Jamma i Fållan me Manne o Eggi. Spela på di tri senaste Crosspointarna o denhär va nog den bästa, fast jag klåpa lite o int visst egentligen nå hu vår andra till sista låt for Ny gitarr som gör att jag njuter av spelandet ännu mer än förr
Härliga vänner som e här i Kokkola nu över sommaren, gamla och nya vänner. Sommarjobba på samma arbetsplats som min bror. Bönsku som vi börjat ha. GBK matcher. Dream Theaters nya skiva. Varje gång jag lyssnat på den har jag blivit rörd.
Idag: Dop. Härliga vänner! Dagens överraskning. Det rörde vid mitt hjärta. Jag är lycklig för er skull!
Herrens närvaro! Halleluja!
tack o gonatt!

 

Dream Theater

The Mirror

Temptation-
Why won’t you leave me alone?
Lurking Every Corner, everywhere I go

Self Control-
Don’t turn your back on me now
When I need you the most

Constant pressure tests my will
My will or my won’t
My Self Control escapes from me still…

Hypocrite-
How could you be so cruel
and expect my faith in return?

Resistance-
Is not as hard as it seems
When you close the door

I spent so long trusting in you
I trust you forgot
Just when I thought I believed in you…

“What’re you doing?
What’re you doing?”

It’s time for me to deal
Becoming all too real
living in fear-
Why did you lie and pretend?
This has come to an end
I’ll never trust you again
It’s time you made your amends
Look in the mirror my friend

“That I haven’t behaved as I should”
“Everything you need is around you. The only danger is inside you.”
“I thought you could control life, but it’s not like that. There are things you can’t control.”

Let’s stare the problem right in the eye
It’s plagued me from coast to coast
Racing the clock to please everyone
All but the one who matters the most

Reflections of reality
are slowly coming into view
How in the hell could you possibly forgive me?
After all the hell I put you through

It’s time for me to deal
Becoming all too real
living in fear-
Why’d I betray my friend?
Lying until the end
Living life so pretend
It’s time to make my amends
I’ll never hurt you again

The Glass Prison

[I. REFLECTION]

Cunning, Baffling, Powerful
Been beaten to a pulp
Vigorous, Irresistable
Sick and tired and laid low
Dominating, Invincible
Black-out, loss of control
Overwhelming, Unquenchable
I’m powerless, have to let go

I can’t escape it
It leaves me frail and worn
Can no longer take it
Senses tattered and torn

Hopeless surrender
Obsession’s got me beat
Losing the will to live
Admitting complete defeat

Fatal Descent
Spinning around
I’ve gone too far
To turn back round

Desperate attempt
Stop the progression
At any length
Lift this obsession

Crawling to my glass prison
A place where no one knows
My secret lonely world begins

So much safer here
A place where I can go
To forget about my daily sins

Life here in my glass prison
A place I once called home
Fall in nocturnal bliss again

Chasing a long lost friend
I no longer can control
Just waiting for this hopelessness to end

[II. RESTORATION]

Run – fast from the wreckage of the past
A shattered glass prison wall behind me
Fight – past walking through the ashes
A distant oasis before me

Cry – desperate crawling on my knees
Begging God to please stop the insanity
Help me – I’m trying to believe
Stop wallowing in my own self pity

“We’ve been waiting for you my friend
The writing’s been on the wall
All it takes is a little faith
You know you’re the same as us all”

Help me – I can’t break out this prison all alone
Save me – I’m drowning and I’m hopeless on my own
Heal me – I can’t restore my sanity alone

Enter the door
Desperate
Fighting no more
Help me restore
To my sanity
At this temple of hope

I need to learn
Teach me how
Sorrow to burn
Help me return
To humanity
I’ll be fearless and thorough
To enter this temple of hope

Believe
Transcend the pain
Living the life
Humility
Opened my eyes
This new odyssey
Of rigorous honesty

Serenity
I never knew
Soundness of mind
Helped me to find
Courage to change
All the things that I can

“We’ll help you perform this miracle
But you must set your past free
You dug the hole, but you can’t bury your sole
Open your mind and you’ll see”

Help me – I can’t break out this prison all alone
Save me – I’m drowning and I’m hopeless on my own
Heal me – I can’t restore my sanity alone

[III. REVELATION]

Way off in the distance I saw a door
I tried to open
I tried forcing with all of my will and still
The door wouldn’t open

Unable to trust in my faith
I turned and walked away
I looked around, felt a chill in the air
Took my will and turned it over

The glass prison which once held me is now gone
A long lost fortress
Armed only with liberty
And the key of my willingness

Fell down on my knees and prayed
“Thy will be done”
I turned around, saw a light shining through
The door was wide open

This Dying Soul

[IV. Reflections of Reality (Revisited)]

Hello, Mirror – so glad to see you my friend, it’s been a while
Searching, Fearless – where do I begin to heal this wound of self-denial

Face yourself man!
Brace yourself and trace your hell back

You’ve been blinded, living lie a one way cold existence all the while
Now it’s time to stare the problem right between the eyes you long lost child

I wanna feel your body breaking
Wanna feel your body breaking and shaking and left in the cold
I want to heal your conscience making a change o fix this dying soul

Born into this world a broken home
Surrounded by love yet all alone
Forced into a life that’s split in two
A mother and a father both pulling you

Then you had to deal with loss and death
Everybody thinking they know best
Coping with this shit at such an age
Can only fill a kid with pain and rage

Family disease pumped through your blood
Never had the chance you thought you could
Running all the while with no escape
Turning all that pain in to blame and hate

Living on your own by twenty one
Not a single care and having fun
Consuming all the life in front of you
Burning out the fuse and smoking the residue

Possessive obsessions selfish childish games
Vengeful resentments
Passing all the blame
Living out a life of decadence
Acing without thought of consequence
Spreading all your lies from coast to coast
While spitting on the ones that matter most

Running power mad with no control
Fighting for the credit they once stole
No one can ever tell you what to do
Ruling other’s lives while the can’t stand the thought of you

A living reflection seen from miles away
A hopeless affliction having run astray

I wanna feel your body breaking
Wanna feel your body breaking and shaking and left in the cold
I want to heal your conscience making a change o fix this dying soul

Now that you can see all you have done
It’s time to take that step into the kingdom
All your sins will only make you strong
And help you break right through the prison wall

[V. Release]

Come to me my friend (Listen to me)
I’ll help this torture end (Help to set me free)
Let your ego go (I can’t carry this load)
You can’t go through this alone (I feel so hopeless and exposed)
You’ll find your peace of mind (Give me some direction)
You can no longer hide (Break out of this isolation)
Let humility (Openness, honesty)
And become what you can be (A healing tranquility)

Help me
Save me
Heal me
I can’t break out of this prison all alone

These tormenting ghosts of yesterday
Will vanish when exposed
You can’t hold onto your secrets
They’ll only send you back alone

Your fearless admissions
Will help expel your destructive obsessions
With my help I know you can
Be at one with God and man

Hear me
Believe me
Take me
I’m ready to break right through this prison wall

The Root Of All Evil

[VI. Ready]

Proud enough for you to call me arrogant
Greedy enough to be labeled a thief
Angry enough for me to go and hurt a man
Cruel enough for me to feel no grief

Never could have just a part of it
I always need more to get by
Getting right down to the heart of it
The root of all evil has been running my whole life

Dirty enough for me to lust
Leaving nothing left to trust
Jealous enough to still feel envious
Lazy enough to sleep all day
And let my life just waste away
Selfish enough to make you wait for me

Driven blindly by our sins
Misled so easily
Entirely ready to leave it behind
I’m begging to break free

Take all of me
The desires that keep burning deep inside
Cast them all away
And help to give me strength to face another day
I am ready
Help me be what I can be

[VII. Remove]

Self-centered fear has got a hold of me
Clutching my throat
Self righteous anger running all through me
Ready to explode

Procrastination paralyzing me
Wanting me dead
These obsessions that keep haunting me
Won’t leave my head

Help to do for me what I can’t do myself
Take this fear and pain
I can’t break out this prison all alone
Help me break these chains

Humility now my only hope
Won’t you take all of me
Heal this dying soul

I can feel my body breaking
I can feel my body breaking
I’m ready to let it all go
I can feel my body shaking
Right down to the foundation
The root of it all

Take all of me
The desires that keep burning deep inside
Cast it all away
And help to give me strength to face another day
I am ready
Help me what I can be
I am ready
Come to me
Take me away

Repentance

[VIII Regret]

Hello, mirror, so glad to see you my friend
It’s been a while…

Staring at the empty page before me
All the years of wreckage running through my head
Patterns of my life I thought adorned me
Revealing hurtful shame and deep lament

Overwhelming sorrow now absorbs me
As the pen begins to trace my darkest past
Signs throughout my life
that should have warned me
Of all the wrongs I’ve done for which I must repent

I once thought it better to regret
Things that I have done than haven’t
Sometimes you’ve got to be wrong
And learn the hard way
And sometimes you’ve got to be strong
When you think it’s too late

Staring at the finished page before me
All the damage now so clear and evident
Thinking about the dreaded task in store for me
A pit of fear at the thought of my amends

Hoping that this step will help restore me
To face my past and ask for forgiveness
Cleaning up my dirty side of this unswept street
Could this be the beginning of the end?

I once thought it better to regret
Things that I have done than haven’t
Sometimes you’ve got to be wrong
And learn the hard way
And just when you’re through hanging on
You’re saved

[IX Restitution]

“Until that moment, I’d never felt like I’d failed at anything…And I felt like I failed her…And I failed myself, and I failed my children…It’s still really hard to deal with.”

“I want to thank you for helping me to see my own selfishness and to tell you how regretful I am it has hurt you.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t visit you in the hospital, Grandpa when you were on your deathbed. I’m sorry I didn’t come to your funeral…I don’t know if I was selfish or just too scared to face it. It’s one of the biggest regrets of my life.”

“I’m here to confess with you that what I did, was wrong… And I’m asking for your forgiveness…”

“The only unforgivable thing hauls itself out of bed, looks over my shoulder at the bloody English weather…”

“I really regret not being able to see my friend Andy…”

“One of my best friends who’s the godfather of my daughter, he asked me to sing or play something at his wedding, and I turned it down because I was busy and too much of a chicken shit to do it…And I feel sorry for that, because it was a very very close friend of mine…”

“So, I wanted to apologize to anyone that I’ve upset or offended.. they’re just words, it’s just an opinion, but unfortunately, I tend to express it as a fact, and that’s kind of arrogant. Isn’t it?”

“I think it’s the betrayal…it still haunts me.”

“I’m sorry for what I did back then… I was a different person. I really was and I’m so sorry. I wish it wouldn’t have happened, but it did, and I’m sorry. Forgive me. I’m sorry…”

“I guess I’m simply sorry for being me and not you. I so often wish you could be here with me to show me the way…”

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.
We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
Self seeking will slip away.
Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us – sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

“You’re only as sick as your secrets, but the truth shall set you free…”

“The truth is the truth and the only thing you can do is to live with it.”

The Shattered Fortress

[X. Restraint]

Freedom calls my name
Serenity keeps me sane
Happiness — it dulls the pain
Honest to see my place

Open to other ways
Willingness to understand
Justice but do not judge
Courtesy for others’ flaws

Kindness — it’s not that hard
Self-restraint of tongue and pen
Inventory — my daily friend
Analysis let down your guard

Look in the mirror
What do you see?
The shattered fortress
That once bound me

Faithful ascent, through darkest fires
I’ve found the path to take me higher

You’re smart enough for me to trust go live your life now
Just keep these steps in your life and you’ll know how
If you’re not sure, ask yourself,
“Have I done to them as I would have them do to me?”

Look in the mirror
What’s that you see?
The shattered fortress
Fly now be free

Faithful ascent, through darkest fires
I’ve found the path to take me higher

I once thought it better to be right
But now I have finally seen the light
Sometimes you’ve got to be wrong
And learn from mistakes
I live with serenity now
Not self-righteous hate

[XI. Receive]

(Help me be a channel of Thy peace
That where there is hatred, I may bring love;
That where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;
That where there is discord, I may bring harmony;
That where there is error, I may bring truth;
That where there is doubt, I may bring faith)

Now that you can see all you have done
(That where there is despair, I may bring hope;
That where there are shadows, I may bring light)

It’s time to take that step into the kingdom
(That where there is sadness, I may bring joy)

All your sins will help to make you strong
(That I may seek rather to comfort, than to be comforted.
That I may seek to understand than to be understood)

And help you break right through the prison wall
(That I may seek to love, rather than to be loved,
for it is by self-forgetting that one finds,
it is by forgiving that one is forgiven)

Keep all of me,
The desires that once burned me deep inside
Help me live today
And help to give me grace
To carry out your ways

I am ready, help me be all I can be
I am ready, help guide me and keep me free

[XII. Responsible]

I am responsible when anyone, anywhere
Reaches out for help, I want my hand to be there
I am responsible when anyone, anywhere
Reaches out for help, I want my hand to be there

 

Jerusalem Jerusalem

Då ha man vari till Pörkenäs till Midsummer Festival igen och int nog me det, träffat vänner, skrattat, haft totalt oseriösa konversationer och några seriösa, SITT JERUSALEM LIVE! Från första tonen slogs man av “Wow! han låter precis som på skivan” Fint var det. När di spela klassiker kunde man hoppa o sjunga o klappa o vifta med armarna. Också fint med mellantalen och de lugna delarna, positivt inspirerande.

försöker få laddat upp bilder på pixbox men de kråtar. här e några smakprov…

McGordon Miesten Farkut 20€

Hattu miehille 3,50€ Reppu: 9,90€

From Jerusalem to Jerusalem

That was so frigging awesome!!

 

huhhu

spela gitarr 2 timmar just, tidigare idag spela jag 1-1,5 timme. igår spela ja två timmar på kvällen. just can’t stop. it’s so much fun and the guitar i’m playing is so, soooo good! fill you in later.. bye

 

between comedy and tragedy

Well it’s been about two weeks…

- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - -

wondering what to write, ’cause now I’m just sitting here in silence, thinking… trying to figure out some way of putting to words someting that would describe all that I feel right now, but it’s impossible because every moment is changing, every moment you move and I can’t keep up.

- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - -

Pushing the boundaries of comedy. “The Black Adder” rekommenderas. Brittisk humor. Fyra säsonger, varje säsong ett annat århundrade. Rowan Atkinson. Sista säsongen utspelar sig under 1:a världskriget. “Whatever it was, I’m sure it was better than my plan to get out of this by pretending to be mad. I mean, who would have noticed another madman round here?

- – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - -

City Praise i lördags. Lovsång, Nice! He va bra! Nästa månad igen. Lördag Crosspoint. Gonna’ be good! Can’t wait! Sedan Midsummer Festival, Jerusalem men kanske jag uppdaterar nånting före de. Be Blessed!

 

B

Abolutely Incredibly Fantastic Day e vad jag har haft o nu e ja trött så jag vet int om mina skriverier blir till nåt men en snabb genomgång kanske..

For med pappa till stan. köpte en accu (hur stavar man?) till min nya (pappas gamla) telefon. Sedan var det studentfest hos Björkgrens.  trevligt myki bekanta å  goo gotta.

Wow WoW WOW!!! ALLTSÅ HELT! HALLELUJA! Helt fantastiskt Crosspoint! Lovsången va härlig, gick rakt in i hjärtat. Oa undervisade kort om förtröstan o sedan fick vi höra vittnesbörd om ämnet, om hur Gud talar på olika sätt och verkar på olika tid. Wow, måst ha varit en av di bästa crosspointarna jag varit med om. Jag träffade också två gamla klasskamrater där, roligt att träffas igen

 

arbetsdag

jag tyckte att jag på fredagen hade en bra arbetsdag men idag var nog ännu bättre. For till ABC 9:20 och 9:30 for vi med buss till staden som int ska nämnas här. nå anyways, efter att vi plockat upp mera passagerare från tidigare nämnda ställe for vi till Härmä.

där fick vi äta mat, int något speciellt men mat iaf. en stor del av gruppen for sedan och paddla men några lämnade kvar.

Denna dag lärde Gud mig tålamod först förlorade jag två set badminton mot min bror (det andra med bara två poäng) och sedan efter otaliga år av att int bowlat förlorade jag första omgången totalt med nånting på 80 poäng. andra omgången gick sedan bättre med 119 poäng.

efter det satt vi på terassen tills det börja blåsa för mycket så då for vi på kaffe istället. när paddlarna kom tillbaka och for i bastun bowlade vi ännu tre omgångar. den första gick ganska bra med 122 poäng men vid dethär laget började mina fingrar vara sjuka så det gick bara neråt därifrån.

när jag kom hem gick jag hem via: MacDonalds-glasskiosken vid Halpa Halli-Hakatori-Chydenius skola(runt skolan och minndes tider som gått)

så allt som allt en bra dag

ha de bra!

 

bergsbestigning

var idag ut och gå med mamma. först var jag lite fundersam om jag sku fara men då hon kom på idén att fara till toppen av roskaruka kunde jag int motstå nåmer.

bildbevis:

det såg brantare och längre ut än på bild. kanske de e denhär extra dimensionen som gör det?

uppe på toppen passade jag på att ta några bilder av vårt underbara dock lite dimmiga Kokkola:

förstår uttrycket plattland:

Det var igenväxt men man såg en liten skymt av havet och Harrbåda:

Före vi gick hem hann jag dessutom få en bild av sockenkyrkan:

 

Ejvind Still

Jag har mött en ny vän.
Egentligen har jag mött honom tidigare också
nu när jag tänker efter.
Jag möter honom varje dag när jag cyklar hem från jobbet
och imellanåt också på väg till jobbet.
Fast egentligen vill jag kalla honom en ovän.
Han heter motvind.
Egentligen är det ej en han.
Egentligen är det mest irriterande.

 

Wednesday

Wednesdays seem to be a constant turning point. Monday, Tuesday, working 8-16 and being tired and getting dragged down by it but now then it’s Wednesday. Wednesday, with things to look forward too. Sauna, the football game and the approaching weekend.

This time there were no customers from 5-> so I took the opportunity to do a bit of reading. I’m currently reading “Breaking Intimidation” by John Bevere. I’ve been really lazy reading this book, I started a few months ago and I’m about half way through. But it’s a very interesting and inspiring book. I just get so distracted by this world and as a result of that I give less and less of my time to God. Like Neal Morse sang: “We all need some light now”. More of Him in our daily lives.